How could I live before
by Oblivionokay
Summary: Sequel to 'if you want me I'm yours.' it's advisable to read that one first :) Max and Zoe return from New York, will everything work out or can something threaten their happiness once again?
1. Chapter 1

**So I've decided to write the sequel to 'if you want me I'm yours.' Hope you all enjoy, it's set when they return from New York. **

**Please review:)**

**Katie xx**

Max and Zoe had been back in Holby for 2 weeks after a blissful 8 months in New York. Although at the start the whole revelation of their relationship had taken its toll on the pair as soon as they were out of the prying eye of the ED, things just slipped into place.

They were stronger than ever and oh so happy. Since the walk out which saw Max and Zoe leave for America, Zoe had been back in contact with connie and had apologised for hers and Max's behaviour. Connie had surprisingly been okay with the whole affair, and told Zoe that she was in fact happy for the pair of them to be reinstated when they got back.

Today was the day, the first step back into their old lives. Deep down they had both missed Holby and all their friends at the hospital. Some of them had been in touch over the months but this was the first time they would all be face to face.

They stood hand in hand outside the doors at the entrance to the ED. Both were starting to regret ever coming back. But this was in their blood they had to, they missed it in a way. They took a deep breath looked at each other and then began to inch forward. The doors opened and the outdoor air rushed in around them. They walked over to reception where a shocked Noel and Louise greeted them.

"Hello strangers, what brought you two back here."

"Kinda missed it to be honest." Max replied.

"Same here, missed the chaos and don't forget all the lovely paperwork." Zoe said sarcastically.

"Nice to have you back."

They both walked off to find Connie, this would be the moment of truth, why did she want Zoe impartially back. What could have happened?They weren't really on the best of terms when they departed company.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy. Thanks for the reviews:)**

**This chapter is more Zoe and Connie based but Max will be back in the next one. **

**Please review:)**

**Katie xx **

As Zoe reached Connie's office she took a deep breath. What was so bad that she actually wanted Zoe back. Last time they'd spoken she couldn't wait to see the back of her.

She knocked the door.

"Come in." The voice from the other side called.

She pushed the handle down and the door swung open.

"Zoe, welcome back."

"Nice to be back."

"Glad to hear it."

Connie motioned for Zoe to take a seat. She sat and then continued talking.

"Okay, this may seem a little abrupt but why did you want me to come back so urgently. I just can't comprehend it. When I left you hated me and now it's like we are best friends."

"Well, umm, this place needs you. It's not been the same, your replacement was hideously crap, and everything had just gone down hill since."

"So that all the ED needs me."

"Precisely."

"Okay then."

Connie looked down, it was so much more. She didn't no if she was ready to unearth her hidden past yet. Things had just become to much she was being dragged back through memories she'd fort so hard to forget. She had a dilemma should she tell Zoe, as a problem shared is a problem halved. Or keep it to herself and let it eat her alive.

Zoe stood up ready to leave. She turned towards the door and then connie spoke.

"Zoe, can I talk to you, there's more to it but I've got to be able to trust that you'll tell no one."

"Connie of course, what's wrong."

"Well, I'm sure you've been informed about the latest inspection."

"Yes, Dylan filled me in."

"Well it just dug up some things that took me back to a time in my life I was at the lowest of the low." A tear slid down Connie's face. Zoe stood up and walked round to the other side of the desk. And gave her a hug.

"It's okay, I'm back now. Everything going to be okay."

"But is it, I've been put down so many times. Since I left home I've never looked back, and ever since I've always strived to be the best of the best. I've not needed improvement, but now I'm slipping back into the fog that surrounded me through my childhood it takes over. Nothing I ever did when I was younger was ever good enough. I could be top of the class and still is be a failure to my mother. I was just another thing in her line of poor choices I suppose. She always compared me to my peers and saw me as part of a group rather than a individual. When I left home and went to university, it was the first time in forever that I felt like I'd achieved something that I could be proud of. My mother never was, I was just a thing that happened, I wished that one day she'd see me for who I was but no and to this day it haunts. I can't deal with failure and needing improvement I spent years dealing with that."

By this time tears were flooding down her cheeks her words were hardly comprehendible. Zoe hugged her tighter.

"Look I'm here for you, your not alone, things are going to be looking up. Don't look back. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, now get back on your horse and get riding. The future is what you make it. You can't change the past but we learn from it and that helps us to shape the future. Just keep your head up and let's get this show on the road."

She dried her tears and stood up.

"Thank you Zoe. Ready."

"As ever."

The two women exited the office heads held high. They were going to make this ED the best it could be.

**Please review. There'll be more soon, and I promise the next chapter of will have some Zoe/Max in it :) xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter. Thank you for the reviews, hope you enjoy this.**

**Please review :)**

**Katie xx**

A few weeks passed by and Zoe helped drag connie out of the rut she had spend so long in. The pair were getting along much better but it was starting to weigh heavily on Zoe. She was constantly exhausted, she was working so many extra shifts to keep up with Connie's new rota. She was now barely getting a break let alone spending time with Max.

And oh how they missed each other. They were texting at every given moment and even sending selfies. Life is just so busy Connie was determined to make everything better even if it meant working her staff to the bone. Max had witnessed everything that went on in the ED. And even though Connie was making a slow recovery Sian is now dragging rest of the staff down. Max couldn't sit and watch the longer we have to do something. He had a plan, he needed to get the rest of the staff and Zoe away from the ED for a while.

It was 30 afternoon and on the rare occasion Zoe actually was getting break. Max met her outside in their smoking spot.

"Hello beautiful. Fancy seeing you here."

"Hello, well I've finally got five minutes so make the most of me."

"Oh I intend to." He pulled a closer brushing her lips with his, his hand slipped down her back and held her waist, whilst her hands creeped around his neck. They no longer had to hide from the rest of the staff everyone knew and they couldn't have cared less.

Their foreheads were resting against each other's.

"So I've been thinking."

"Sounds dangerous."

"Very funny, well it's been a tough few weeks for you and the rest of the staff so I was thinking how about a weekend away with everyone. I know that you could do with it and connie too."

"Well I'm sure she'd agree, everything's been tough lately, it might even bring the team closer together, nothing like a bit of friendly rivalry. So you better get planning."

"On it like an Easter bonnet."

"I expect something very impressive."

"Don't you worry."

Zoe went back inside and found connie in her office.

"Hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No not at all."

"Well I've been talking to Max and we both agreed that maybe we should take a weekend away."

"Well that will be fine."

"No not just me and Max, we were thinking more along the lines of us and some of the team. Your more than welcome to come, it might give them all a break and make them stronger."

"That's not actually a bad idea. Well I open it up to them. Where will we be going."

"I have not a clue, Max says he is organising it."

"And do you trust him."

"Totally, just be prepared for mud, I know what he's like."

"Oh the joys. I look forward to it."

Zoe left the room and carried on with her shift, a builder had just arrived with nail through the lower arm.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter, thank you for the reviews they mean a lot :) xx**

**Please review :)**

**Katie xx**

Max lay awake that night, wonder about all the possible destinations for the ED weekend break. He finally concluded on the idea of camping. Nothing like a bit of outdoor life to establish and rebuild relationships within the work place.

Once his mind was at rest, sleep over took and he drifted off ready for a day of activity planning. He couldn't wait to see the faces of his colleagues, what's not to love: mud, fresh air and tents.

As Zoe's alarm rang out, Max felt her shift in the bed and then get out and into the shower. He made no effort to follow as he hadn't got to be in work until 2pm. When she returned into the room, she didn't seem to notice Max watching her from beneath the covers.

"Morning beautiful."

"Morning, I didn't realise you were awake."

"Well I am."

"Have you been watching me."

"And why would I do that."

"Just a suspicion."

"Is it now."

Max got out of bed and stood behind Zoe who was sitting doing her makeup. He placed her arms around her shoulder and bent slightly to enable himself to kiss her neck.

"Max, please stop that, I need to be ready on time, I can't get into Connie's bad books especially if you want this trip to go ahead."

"Okay okay." Max tilted her chin towards him and kissed her.

"I'll leave you too it, I've got a holiday to plan."

"Yeah about that, where are we going."

"Now darling, if i told you no one would want to come."

"Max. Come on a little hint."

"Fine, you might want to bring a few spare pairs of socks."

"Well that helps."

"I do try. Have fun at work I'll see you later and by then I should have all the details."

"Oh the joys. Am I going to regret letting you organise this."

"Now that question only you can answer."

Zoe left for work and Max got busily on with the planning. He had borrowed Zoe's iPad for the morning so he typed in the passcode and loaded Google.

First things first he needed a campsite. After looking though a few pages he settled one that was in Barmouth Wales. It had a range of team activities on offer at it was a pretty reasonable price as well.

All he needed to do now was to get exact numbers so that he could book them onto activities. It was nearly lunch time so Max decided he was going to go into work a little early so that he could speak to Zoe.

When he arrived he went to her office where he found Zoe with her eyes fixated on the computer screen. He closed the door softly behind him and walked behind her. He snaked his arms around her and she jumped.

"Max! What are you doing."

"I've come to spend lunch with my princess."

"Have you know, this princess of yours she's feeling a little like a parlour maid today. Overwork and unappreciated."

"Well my darling I appreciate everything thing you do and more."

"Is that so." Zoe said spinning around in her chair. She pulled on Max's shirt to bring him closer before immersing them both into a deep passionate kiss.

The pair then sat chatting about the weekend away and Zoe gave Max the list of names of those who had agreed to come.

On the lists were:

Max and Zoe

Connie - surprisingly

Tess

Charlie

Lily

Cal

Ethan

Lofty

Robyn

And even Dylan on the condition that Dervla would be able to attend also.

Max's shift was due to start any minute so he left the comfort of Zoe's office and headed to get changed, his plan was starting to come together now all he had to do was work out which activities he wanted to choose.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter, thank you for all the reviews, they mean a lot. Hope you enjoy this part, ill update again soon :)**

**Please **

**Katie xx**

It was the day of the camping trip, everyone who was going, which now included Rita who had decided last minute she would like to come, had gathered outside the ED with rucksacks, waterproof clothing and walking boots or wellies on. Max stood at the front and addressed them.

"Thank you for all deciding to come, I have some activities lined up to improve our teamwork but also I hope that they prove to be enjoyable. And I hope no ones scared of the dark."

After so worried glances between each other at the thought of what max had planned they all boarded the minibus and were off. It was a 3 hour journey to the campsite so everyone listened to the radio and sang along. Dylan had taken a seat at the back with Dervla and had his earphones in. Max and Zoe sat near the front and were having a whale of a time. Now that everyone had seemingly accepted their relationship status they were more publicly affectionate. Max had his arm around zoe and she leant into his shoulder as he kissed her forehead.

"Thanks for organising this max, it a much needed break for all of us."

"Well anything for you princess." She tilted her head up at a slight angle and kissed him. The radio had gone quite. And a chorus of 'ewwwws' and 'get a room' rang out in the minibus. Max and Zoe just smiled to each other. This was going to be one hell of a weekend but in a good way.

Everyone settled into conversation with the person next to them and Dylan was happily chatting to his dog. Zoe and max had fallen asleep due to their early morning to ensure everything was ready. As the bus came to a standstill they stirred. Everyone was gathering their belongings, max and Zoe got off first and helped the rest of the campers out.

"Here we are." Max beamed.

"It's a field!." Connie added unamused.

"Well that's where your wrong, it's not just a field it's our field, welcome to your new home for the weekend.

"Max where are we going to sleep." Rita asked.

"Now here's for the best part, we have tents."

"Your joking." Zoe said.

"No darling."

"I was kinda hoping for something more along the lines of glamping."

"Now that would spoil the fun."

Zoe gave max an look and he shut up.

"Okay well now you're all over the initial shock of the idea, time for the sleeping arrangements. Obviously I'll be sharing with zoe. Then robyn and lofty will have a tent. Charlie you can share with Dylan and Dervla. Lily you and Tess are sharing and Ethan and Cal you're sharing. So that leaves Connie and of course Rita. Well Connie you were going to have a tent to yourself but now Rita will have to share."

Connie looked at max as if she wanted to murder him.

"This is all your fault." Connie hissed at Rita.

Zoe butted in. "Connie for a few days can we act like civil human beings, this trip is all about establishing good relationships between us. And that includes you and Rita."

"Fine"

"Fine"

"Good well I'm glad that's all sorted, shall we pitch these tents." Max said with a smile.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. :)**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Once all the tents were standing. The group gathered back together.

"So." Max began "now we are all settled in its time for some team building activities. But first we need to get into teams, but thankfully here's some I prepare early." Max pulled out a list.

"In team number 1 there will be connie, cal,Tess, Charlie, Dylan, Dervla and last but not least Rita. Team 2 will be me, Zoe, Robyn, lofty, Ethan and lily. Our first task is to go into the woods behind us and collect fire wood. The first team to get back here and build a successful fire will have first dips at the food. And the losing team will have to complete a forfeit. May the best team win."

Both teams ran off into the woods even though some members were a little reluctant at first. Max's team split up and ran quickly to collect as much wood as possible. Where as Connie's team decided to stick together.

It took Max's team less than 15 minutes to gather enough fire wood and make it back to camp. By the time to the other team had an adequate amount the first team back already had a fire going and dinner was cooking. Connie's face dropped. This meant her team would have to forfeit.

The two teams all sat around in a circle.

"So I'm sure your all very aware of who the winners were. So that means now the other team must do a forfeit. Today's is that the losing team must sing and dance to head shoulders knees and toes."

Their faces dropped.

"Max I know this is meant to be fun, but that is just pointless." Connie said

"Well Connie, it can get a whole lots worse so if I was you I'd just get on with it. Come on you lot we are waiting for our evening entertainment."

Connie, Tess, Charlie, Rita and a very reluctant Dylan all stood up. As they began to sing and dance they rest of them burst into laughter. It was such a sight. They all looked so uncomfortable.

As night fell on the camp. They all crawled into their assigned residence. Robyn and lofty were the first to sleep, followed by lily and Tess. Ethan and cal followed soon after. Charlie and Dylan had a little more trouble due to Dervla lying across them both. Rita and Connie lay facing the walls as far apart as the tent would allow. Zoe and Max huddled together and fell asleep intertwined in ach other's embrace.

Tomorrow was going to be yet another day in paradise.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy xx**

**Please review:)**

**Katie xx**

"Morning campers" Max shouted.

He and Zoe were already up and making breakfast. The rest of the group were beginning to rise. They formed a circle and began to eat.

"So it's another busy day today. Both teams will be give a map. One of the site marshals have set up two courses so none of the locations will overlap. The teams have to stay together and find their way to this place. X marks the spot. You must go to every point and collect the card that is there. There is 15 cards in total. Oh and you need to take with you your sleeping mats and bags. May the best team win."

Everyone gathered what they need to take. Zoe took the lead for her team and Connie for hers. Both teams set off. Zoe's team found the first 5 cards with ease. But Connie's team had a little more trouble. They couldn't make a decision as a team and that resulted in arguments .

"Look you lot, do you want to be humiliated again like yesterday. I thought not so let's just listen to me and we can avoid it."

Zoe's team made it to the clearing, which was were x marked the spot. They sat on a fallen tree and Max built a small fire. It was a little chilly in ten middle of the woods. They heard footsteps nearing them. The other team had finally arrived.

Connie's voice came."you have to be kidding me we lost again. This is getting ridiculous. What's the forfeit this time."

Max laughed."are you sure you want to know."

"Well it's doesn't look like we have much of a choice."

Max stood up and took a bucket of a mixture from behind a tree.

Connie looked disgusted. "What is that."

"A mixture of water and soil."

"What's going to happen to it."

"Well you'll see now your team needs to get into a line."

Connie, Rita, Cal, Tess, Charlie and Dylan stood side by side.

Dylan looked towards Connie. "If I'd have been in charge this would never have happened."

Before any arguments broke out Max and Robyn through the buckets content at them. They all took sharp intakes of breath. Zoe stood up and through towels at them.

"Maybe next time you'll work as a team." Lily said.

"Now we are all here I think it's time for some food and then we can set up camp under the stars."

They sat round the fire and ate soup.

As the sunset and the sky filled with stars they all set out there mats and bags. Robyn lay beside lofty. And Ethan next to cal. Dylan and Dervla lay at the edge of the clearing away from the rest of the group. Charlie placed himself near Tess. Rita and Connie were on opposite sides they were making the most of a night away from each other. Lily lay near to Ethan and cal. Max lay down and Zoe placed her head on his chest for a little bit more comfort. And the moonlight fell over them sleep over took their bodies.

Tomorrow would test them once again.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy xx **

**Please review x**

**Katie xx**

Everyone was awoken by Dylan hitting a stick against a pan.

"Dylan what the hell. And where is Max?" Zoe said.

"Well I got up I found this note." Dylan handed it to Zoe.

"Good morning, I hope your night under the stars was one of enjoyment. You need to meet me back at the campsite at 9 o'clock.

Max x"

Everyone packed up and walked back. Max was waiting but the old fire.

"Hey guys. Nice to see you all. I hope your all ready, we are hitting the heights today."

They all looked at each other.

"So basically we are doing a tree top adventure course. The last person across the line will lose for their team. So let's go get harnessed up."

Once everyone was swinging in the trees, a horn sounded and they were off. The first obstacle was a narrow swinging bridge, they all managed to get safely across. Next they had to make their way across a wall using only their hands, then onto the thin wooden beam, aft r came the hovering stepping stones. Up next were the monkey bars and then onto the tyre swing. They all went over the zigzag posts and walked cautiously along the tightrope. Then they came to the Tarzan swing. They all managed to grab hold of the net on the other side and climb over the top. However Ethan was not so lucky he got his foot stuck. The rest of his team had to carry on they couldn't turn back. The final part was a 40 foot zip line. One by one the two teams slid down the line Ethan finally caught up but was at the back of the line.

Ethan was the last to finish and therefore his team had lost. Zoe's face dropped. Now it was forfeit time.

"Okay." Connie read the card she had just been handed.

"Today as you are already here, your forfeit must be appropriate. The losing team must climb to the top of the tower which you can see behind you. Once you there you will be given your next instructions."

"Your joking. I am not going up there."Zoe said

Max looked at her."oh yes you are come on."

He took her hand and his team followed them. The climb took a lot of effort. Once at the top a guide met them.

"Your forfeit is to throw yourselves off that ledge. You will of course be attached by a harness so you'll be perfectly safe. Who's going first."

Max volunteered. He got strapped in and closed his eyes and stepped forward, he went plummeting to the ground. Once the cord was at full length it retracted and he shit back up. The man caught him and pulled him back up. Now it's the rest of you to have your goes.

Zoe had her go last, she had been reluctant at first but it didn't seem that bad and if they could do it so could she. She stood toes over the edge, she shut her eyes and on 3 she stepped off. The air flew into her face she dropped down and then jolted and sprung up again. Once everyone had their turn it was time to return to ground level.

"Oh and one more thing, the final part of your forfeit..."Connie began.

"Excuse me we have already done it." Max said

"Oh well I'm adding to it. You all must kiss another person in your team."

Max and Zoe looked at each other it was not a problem for them. Max walked up to Zoe took her in his arms and kissed her softy on the lips. Robyn turned to lofty and kissed him quickly on the lips. Lily and Ethan stood facing away from each other. They both secretly liked each other but had never made their feelings known to the other. Ethan took a deep breath, turned round and placed a hand on lily's shoulder she turned round as well. They looked at each other, neither wanting to make the move. Lily got impatient rather quickly, she took a breath and kissed Ethan. His body tensed. Lily pulled away and looked into his eyes, before turning away and headed back towards camp.

They returned to camp, it was feeding time at the zoo.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy.(as much as you can, it ends on a sad note and I'm sorry for that.)**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Everyone had eaten and gone to bed a little easier as they were going to head out in a midnight walk. This was not really a challenge more of an experience.

Both teams were going to travel together more for safety reasons. Max and Zoe were at the front of the group, they all had torches but they were for emergencies only.

They came to set out across the field and came to a fence with a stye. They all got over with the help of the person in front of them. They came to a ladder. They all began to climb it one after another. Max got to the top and slid down the slide on the other side and landed in a mud bath. Zoe heard to splash.

"Max what the hell is down there."

"Don't worry princess nothing to be scared off."

"If I get dirty you dead."

"Well your already pretty dirty from my experience."

"Shut it, watch your back."

They all went down the slide and ended up coated in mud. They next came to a cargo net. They all had to crawl under it. It was cold and damp, but the faster they completed the walk the fast they could all be tucked up in bed.

Once all safely on the other side they wondered through a cow filled field. A couple of cows mood and some of the jumped. They kept going. From behind them Zoe and Max heard. An 'eww'.

"Who's that. What's happened." Max asked.

"Don't worry it's fine only a bit of cow pat." Connie replied. She sounded oh so pleased.

As they got to the other side of the field they came to a narrow country lane. Zoe stayed back and Max went across first. They all went to the other side and as Zoe took a step into the road and a car came flashing around the bend. Before she could move it hit her. She was thrown up and over the bonnet.

Everyone's torches flashed on and Max ran to Zoe's side. Connie quickly tried to assess the damage to Zoe's body.

"Guys can I have a hand here."Connie screamed.

Everyone rushed to help. Max held on tightly to Zoe's hand. How could this be happening. His beautiful Zoe was now in a broken heap on tHe floor. He look at Connie, her face said it all.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the next chapter. Max's thoughts and feelings about Zoe. From Max's PoV.**

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

My heart stopped. She's lying there on the cold hard ground. She's still breathing put her eyes are closed. The car came out of nowhere. No lights, no sign, no warning.

I see her eyes flutter open, she's in pain. I'm knelt by her side. Connie is trying to assess the damage to her body. I can hear sirens in the distance, that sound is my only comfort. Know that people are own their way to take her to safety.

The crew loaded her onto the ambulance and I sat next to Zoe holding her hand not letting go. She knew I was there, her eyes held my gaze. My heavy heart a ton of tumbling bricks. It broke me to see her like this. Her face coated in blood, her skin cold and pale. She had a deathly look about her.

The rest of them stayed behind. They were in bits. Lofty and was hugging Robyn tight, they had grown closer lately and this was a huge shock. Lily and Ethan stood at the roadside, it brought back memories of her accident for lily. Her face was buried in Ethan's chest, she was trying to remain strong but it was going to be tough, this was only the beginning. Connie was still knelt on the floor, I saw Rita bend down next to her. Her arms took Connie in, no one knew what the outcome would look like not even me. As the ambulance doors closed I lost sight of he rest of them, this wasn't going to be an easy ride for anyone but right now I need to do is focus on Zoe. She's all that matters, without her I have nothing.

At the hospital, it was chaos. I had to stay with her but it was so hard, I couldn't take it anymore to see her almost lifeless was fracturing my heart, I love her, I've always loved her and I can't lose her not now not ever my beautiful princess. I need to make sure she knows I'm here.

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's the next chapter. **

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Robyn called an ambulance. Zoe had regained consciousness but was in considerable pain. Connie had been carrying some of her medical kit just in case, you could never be too careful.

She started Zoe on a saline drip, as she had a dropping blood pressure. She was in a critical condition. Max felt helpless, Zoe was bleeding internally and there was nothing he could do to stem it.

The ambulance arrived and Max went with Zoe to the hospital. The rest of them headed back to camp and packed up with great efficiency. They needed to go and see Zoe.

As Max and Zoe arrived at the hospital Zoe was rushed straight to resus.

"This is Zoe she's 40, involved in an RTC and was thrown over the car bonnet. She has a blunt trauma injury to the abdomen. She has a GCS of 5 but was unconscious for 5 minutes before our arrival. She's had 10 of morphine and 500 of saline. Her bp is low. Suspected internal bleeding. Oh and the rest of them will be back shortly." Dixie said.

As Zoe was transferred to a bed. Connie and the rest of the team got to the hospital they all made straight for resus. Pulling on gloves they needed to stabilise her.

"There's tenderness to the abdomen, possible spleen perforation. She's going to require emergency surgery. Can you cross match 6 units and start a transfusion of O -ve. Quickly, her bp is dropping, we need to get her into theatre now." Connie said.

Max stood out of the way, not taking his eyes of his beloved Zoe for a second. He loved her she had to fight. He needed to trust them to save her. Hope is all he had.

Once Zoe was taken to theatre. The surgeon made a large incision in her abdomen. He found that she had ruptured her spleen and it needed to be removed. Once the operation was over and had been successful. Zoe was left to rest in a side room.

She was stable, Max sat with her, taking about random insignificant things. Like what they should have for dinner once she was better. And he kept telling her to fight to get better not just for him but she herself.

Suddenly, the machine started to bleep. Max ran to get help.

"Help! It's Zoe."

Connie and Tess ran to help.

"She's unconscious. Her bp is falling, I've lost out out."

Max was bewildered, she was okay two minutes ago. What could have happened.

"Tess I need a crash trolley. She gone into VF."

They started CPR. And shocked her.

"Okay we have an out put. We need a CT scan now."

Zoe was rushed to CT and it confirmed that she had an intracranial haemorrhage.

"She's going to need surgery to relieve the pressure on the brain."

"But what is she doesn't make it she's weak she's already had one operation today." Max said shaking.

"Max don't worry she's a fighter."

The surgeon had to perform a craniotomy. To relive the pressure on the brain and prevent brain damage. Max waited nervously to hear news of the outcome.

Connie came out.

"Max she's okay, she's going to betaken back to the room but she'll need to rest. She's been intubated to help aid her recovery. This means that she won't be able to talk or communicate but I promise she can hear you."

**Please review. There'll be more soon xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter, I'm sorry that this story took a turn in a sad **

**Please review xx**

**Katie xx**

Max went into the room. Zoe's skin was deathly pale. He sat down in the chair beside her and took her hand in his. It was ice cold. Her hair had become knotted and her eyes we closed tightly. Her breaths were forced. She was attached to a ventilator and her lips were a little blue.

He sat there watching, waiting, praying for her to just show him a sign that everything was going to be okay. He couldn't lose her not know. She meant too much to him.

The hours passed, doctors and nurses fluttered in and out. Doing her obs and making sure Max was okay. He spoke to her.

"Zoe, I'm not really sure if you can hear me but I'm going to say it anyway. I love you more than you'll ever know and I need you. I can't lose you, your my world, my destiny. We are written on the stars. You have made me complete and that is all a man can hope for. You are my everything and I need you to fight. Fight against the shining light that wants to guide you to the next world. Fight for me, for both of us. We have a life to live and a life less lived is not a life at all. We have years left in us yet Zo and the thought of not being able to spend them with you shatters my heart. Zoe please fight with every last bit of strength you have. I love you Zoe and you love me I just hope it will be enough."

Tears were flooding down his face. Losing Zoe would be the end of him. He kissed her hand through his tears and began to sing.

Breathe deep, breathe clear

Know that I'm here

Know that I'm here

Waitin'

Stay strong, stay gold

You don't have to fear

You don't have to fear

Waitin'

I'll see you soon

I'll see you soon

How could a heart like yours

Ever love a heart like mine?

How could I live before?

How could I have been so blind?

You opened up my eyes

You opened up my eyes

Sleep sound, sleep tight

Here in my mind

Here in my mind

Waitin'

Come close, my dear

You don't have to fear

You don't have to fear

Waitin'

I'll see you soon

I'll see you soon

How could a heart like yours

Ever love a heart like mine?

How could I live before?

How could I have been so blind?

You opened up my eyes

You opened up my eyes

Hold fast hope

All your love is all I've ever known

Hold fast hope

All your love is all I've ever known

How could a heart like yours

Ever love a heart like mine?

How I could I live before?

How could I have been so blind?

You opened up my eyes

You opened up my eyes

You opened up my eyes

You opened up my eyes

Max took Zoe's hand in his, her nails were still painted a deep plum colour. He stood up and lent over, softly kissing her check. He let himself fall back into the chair. He loved Zoe more than anything in the world but this was out of his control. He spoke gently.

"If you stay, or if you go. It's all up to you."

**Please review x**

**_Well I'm sad to say this is the last chapter of this fic. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews they make this so worth it. I hope you've enjoyed reading, I have enjoyed writing it. Sorry to leave you all on such a sad note but I felt as if this way it would work better overall._**

**_I have started to write a sequel called 'I want you to stay' which will be up shortly as I don't want to leave you all in the dark for too long xx_**

**_Thank you xxxx_**


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